Just Kill Yourself Please!

Like most sane people, I have been shocked and disgusted by the 2 newest spree killings here in the US. These things usually have a few common themes: disgruntled white teens, high powered firearms and completely innocent victims. I always have the same thought, why can't YOU JUST KILL YOURSELF. You pieces of shit, yes you are apparently losers and not worthy of any love, if you can walk into a mall with an AK-47 and randomly kill peoples mothers and sisters and fathers and brothers. I don't want to hear about any of the usual suspects of music, video games, etc.... These are just psycopaths who were wired wrong and the world is better place without them. I just wish they didn't have to take all of the innocent people with them. Two sisters lost their lives in Colorado at the hand of one of these sickos, sitting in their families' car after church, and their father saw them gunned down and is expected to survive, but will he ever really LIVE again. That loser/reject basically killed him too. So Matthew Murray and Robert Hawkins I just hope there is a special place in HELL for you two. I know there are more of these to come, I just hope that none of my family members or myself are in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Eddie!

"Me you wouldn't recall for I am not my former"

Okay, I have been digging me some Pearl Jam over the last few days. No, I did not just discover them, as they were my definitive teenaged idol and obsession. I swear I used to pray to become Eddie Vedder, a trade I would still take. I am looking for the 2007 Lollapaloza show on MP3's just to listen to on my computer. So if anyone has the hook-ups on that, let me know. I have heard a few of the tracks and the audio is SO damn clean. It is amazing that Eddie's voice is still so good. I am sure he has been in a few "smoky" rooms....to say the least. It is good that every once in a while a great band will come along with some real staying power. I know that they don't top the charts and perform on all of the talkshows anymore, but they could if they wanted to. The Band just hates doing all of the PR and media blitz. I hope to see them again live before I die. That was a surreal moment, finally after all of those years of looking for info on them (way before Google) and trying to get new performances and unreleased tracks from Dino's Records, I was mere yards away! They rocked out too. That is what I hear from so many people, is that EVERY one of there shows is 100 percent, bad ass PJ. So, basically, Thank You Pearl Jam. For everything. For "Black" parked outside the Kimball Art Museum Park with Karen, for "Dissident" drving that dark day to Dax's funeral with Heather, for "Elderly Woman" jamming out with LB and laughing our asses off, for "Corduroy" and Gina singing everything has changed, absouloutely nothings changed, for "Go" and they way it starts out. Thank You.

Cowboys vs Lions, biatch!

This should be a fun game to watch, what with all of the trash talking going around this week. Lions QB Kitna ran his mouf and now he gonna pay for that...but, I just want to get a win secured before we go start acting a fool. They beat us last year, and that was just the last straw for me and old coach Tuna. Man, I am so glad we got Coach Phillips now. Sometimes I am able to catch a few of his midweek press conferences and he is a smart man with alot of common sense. Some of his answers to questions may not be as blusterous and brash as "Purcells" but he gets his point across. He is not a pushover by any means and I think he has a good control over the team, yet lets them be young men, which they are. I know that all of us dudes know how much we like to clown around and crack on each other, and they are no different, just alot richer! Wade Phillips has been the PERFECT fit. That is why I am not too concerned about a let down, or "trap game" this weekend. The players are motivated to win, not only for themselves, but for their coach. Unlike last year.

Cowboys 27, Lions 13.

What the fuck, I have a blog.

Yes it is me, T-Dog. The same guy that got his first cellphone, oh, 2 years ago!

Now I have a blog.

Well, I don't think it will be a major player in the world of internet journalism and blog superstars but at least it is a place for me to get some thoughts out, and to yell at stupid people.

A few of the blogs have been previously posted on my MySpace Blog, which has been viewed over 500 times, so check me and it out if you are on there:

myspace.com/whitemeatx

As you can tell, I don't go around using my real name on many of these internet accounts, hence the whitemeatx name...that is my rapper name.

I plan on keeping most of the stuff on here exclusive to it, as I don't see the point of reading any of my musings once, much less twice.

So there you have it......anybody got any wata?

Rant-to-Rama

Oh my god...I am so pissed right now! At what, you may ask....our television stations, our society, the idiots running shit here.....F all of them...

I am here watching some TV and all that I see are media whores, race wars and how to lose 80 fuckin pounds by being on some dumb ass TV show...

First of all, can we stop with all of the racial tension around here, and the whole bullshit PC aspect the people who actually have the ability to change perceptions of the whole damn thing take. Are you gonna sit here and tell me that this cracker ass cracker white boy on CNN, with his paid for Harvard education and storybook upbringing, doesn't get scared or nervous when he sees some thug looking black guy walking towards him on a street. But here he is, on national TV talking about how we shouldnt judge people and this and that...and you Mr. Angry Black Man, not every white person is evil or after you, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU. And you should quit worrying about Don Imus and go get a damn haircut with that nappy shit going 22 different directions..... seriously though, if Kanye West is free to speak his mind then so is Imus.... I just wish we could learn to accept other peoples beliefs and opinions, RIGHT OR WRONG......

And can I tell you about Marie Osmond. First of all, WHO THE FUCK IS MARIE OSMOND, and why is she on my screen every 5 minutes, Nobody cares about your bullshit problems. Breaking News: WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS! Go faint on a airplane headed straight to Zimbabwe and feed some fuckin children when you get there....

And politics......there is a road here in Texas where many people have been killed in car accidents, another happened just this weekend, killing a mother and her teenage son....the road has had plans to be redone for over 3 years...but why hasn't it been done???? There is no MONEY! Huh, no money, maybe we should quit fuckin spending trillions of dollars chasing ghosts in the desert AND FIX THE FUCKING ROADS in our own country, and Congress, when you get around to it, can you feed OUR starving children, and seal off OUR borders, and improve the care of OUR elderly, and deal with OUR epidemic drug problems, and ...oh, FUCK IT....nobody is listening.

NOBODY IS LISTENING.

I am pissed.

I am who I am.

Have you ever had one of those days, er.. weeks, that makes you want to find the bottom of a Jager bottle? Or 2? I feel like that today...not sad or down but just wanting to tell this world, "World, I am who I fucking am, I can't change who I am at the core...I can ACT different or portray myself to be something that i'm not, but that also leads to heavy drinking, TRUST ME!" It is not that one person or one catastrophic event set me off, but I am just tired. It is in these moods that one becomes self-analytic and often harsh. I just started to wonder who am I really. I know that I am almost 30, not married or divorced for that matter (I am a realist, there are plenty of miserable married people!), no kids and no real plan for the immediate future. That is FACT and that is what I am getting at....SO FUCKING WHAT! I may win the lottery tomorrow or get hit by a bus, I don't know. I just think that sometimes I get down on myself for the things above, even subconsiously. I am making a promise to myself from this point on. I know that everything happens for a reason (cliche ALERT!), someone is going to have to like and love me for who I am, and that the past will not or cannot affect the future. I am in the middle of moving and while packing I ran across an old diary/journal/songbook I used to have. The title really struck me, "You cannot sedate all that you hate". It was so fuckin' funny to read some of the petty shit I was all upset about, at the same time it really was big to me then, if ya know what I'm saying. I know for a fact that I spent alot of that time writing and refelecting while sitting in my old APT w/ my roomie Dax. You want to talk about 2 tortured souls, HAH! I think we thought it was cool to be the miserable, tormented musicians...and maybe it was! I have been thinking about him so much over the last 48 hours.....damn, what I would do to call him up or go pound down a case of natural lights with that cat (we were starving artists, to say the least). I know that I can only be me, only be who I can be, and hopefully that is good enough, but at least I can still be me......rest in peace, Dax. I'll make my way - - - TD